I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize