we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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