So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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