Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I skipped work to stalk him.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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