i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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