you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
