Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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