I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
