Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
