I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I fill condoms, not promises.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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