Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
