I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
