hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
