Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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