i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize