just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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