thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
