Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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