Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
