Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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