That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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