I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
