My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
