Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize