At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
