Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
