For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You took a bar mat shot.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
