we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize