im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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