There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
