he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
