Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it

(734): View more from Michigan

Thanks?

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(313): View more from Michigan

mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...

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(513): View more from Ohio

Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide

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(352): View more from Florida

I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.

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(904): View more from Florida

I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.

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(801): View more from Utah

so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!

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(425): View more from Washington

I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.

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(905): View more from Ontario

My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"

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