dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
