I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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