was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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