We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
