Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
