So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I could fuck to npr.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
