yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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