Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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