is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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