You just made me feel so damn special
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize