He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
