sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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