hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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