So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
