she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
