Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This house was built for laser tag.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
