I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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