The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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