wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My life is pants optional.
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