So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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