i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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