is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
