Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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