Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize