I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
