So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
