i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
