Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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