I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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