So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
