in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
