so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
